Film 2 - Loving

Lovely - intermarriage, based on a real life life story, in 1958 

It begins in the front porch with Mildred telling Richard she is pregnant and him saying that was good. A race street happening between a white and a black man, the black man won, and immediately Richard is seen kissing Mildred in front of everyone on the race. Then they head to DC to get married. They seem living fine over her parents. He is designing the house plans for the acre bought to raise a family. Later he is told by his mom that the deputy of the town was looking for him. The next scene is with him placing his marriage certificate on the wall or their room. Later they are dining with her family, having a good time. Right after, a scene shows two police cars waiting on the outside of the house, at a safe distance. The police head over the house where the sheriff opens the door, which was unlocked but broke the door of their room asking Richard what he was doing sleeping with that woman, she says I am his wife. Richard points out to the wall where the certificate is hanging. The sheriff said to him, "this is not good for you" and took them both to the precinct for the night. In the morning, Richard is set free but not Mildred. When he asked, the police in charge told him that he has to wait until Monday and talk to the judge about it. Rich went home trying to figure all out and came with the conclusion that someone talks on them.

He's very distressed, and so is she in jail, so he goes to bail her out, but the jail keeper says he can't to what he retort; I will  get a lawyer because "it isn't right." The sheriff called him to his office "to listen to him" kind of thing but end it telling him that it is wrong what he did, but he might not know because of his dad's business working with people of color plus he having different mixed in his blood (part Cherokee, black, white, and another one), this one did not know where to call - and the sheriff keeps on showing him more about how wrong was to marry a black woman and end it up saying that it was God's law, because he made them different for a reason, using the analogy of God creating the sparrow as a sparrow and the robin as a robin, different.

Her dad bails her out, and they had to live at their parents separated. Next, they are meeting with the attorney he hires to straighten things out, but the court rule for them leaving the state for 25 yrs if they do not detract from their marriage decision; otherwise, they will have to serve a year in jail, issue immediately. They should not come into town together, or they will go back to prison. They left to live at a friend of a friend’s house in Washington, DC.

Closer to her due date, she grows sadder. When her husband asks, she said she always dream of his mom delivering their baby. So, they decide to sneak up to their parents that night. After a couple of hours, the sheriff came to take them back to court, but the lawyer lies for them to the judge saying it was unintentional because he did say it was ok for them to have the baby there. Outside, the lawyer said to them, do not come back; I won't do it again. 

Time passes, and they all seem to be doing ok with two children and one on the way.  Soon after she looks unfortunate, in the background music is playing -you don't miss water until your well runs dry- when her sister visits. Mildred is happy to see her sister and can't help but said she feels sorry for her children leaving "caged" with no green anywhere. Her friend in the house tells her to write to Bobby Kennedy because what she needed was some civil rights.

Next, the phone rings while she is doing laundry while children are playing close to her, and upon answering the phone, attorney Cohen told her that her case got their attention, and they will have it with all costs covered by the ACLU. Cohen makes all sorts of arrangements for them to meet him in town, but Richard did not seem convinced. The lawyer tries hard to explain, but Richard will not let him talk because, for him, the situation they are encountering is not right and make no sense. He wants to get back to Virginia. The lawyer explains the plan which, included an orthodox idea - getting back and get arrested. They did not accept the idea, forcing the lawyer to dig more for other ways to help.

Meanwhile, Richard seems unhappy. Time passed, and the only thing happening is an accident with one of their kids getting hurt by a car, and when Richard returns from work at night, all suitcases are packed. She made up her mind that no matter what, she will get back to the country and raise her family there. He supported her, and the next thing they all are leaving. She goes first with the kids, and then he catches up with them later. Their family has them go to a secluded place where they could live with no one knowing.

The lawyer shows up again and with him the option of a magazine wanting to follow the story. He appears to be jumpy. He wants to keep them safe. Mildred sent a letter to Cohen saying they had loose hope for all the time passing by with no answer. Immediately, Cohen calls his professor requesting help. They meet up with an expert in constitutional law to review the case. The Loving couple is asked to meet with the lawyers to go through the strategy. The new lawyer and they are amazed at how useful it is so they will rule against a state, and then it could be taken to the supreme court, which is what they need.

Meanwhile, in an interview with the magazine when Mildred is asked if she is concerned about the possibility of losing, and she said - yes, but is alright, we lose little battles but we win the big war. 

They get to the supreme court, and they decided not to be on the hearing. Especially when the lawyer told them that the State of Virginia might use the same argument in the past, when Richard ask, what it was; they answer, the children, it was unfair to bring mixed children to the world because they were considered bastards according to Virginia state.

The Loving family won the case! They returned to the acre Richard bought for them and began building their house.

Questions:

1. How was Gender/Race/Class represented in the film?

The film issue is based on race, because the main plot is the interracial marriage of Richard a white man and Mildred a black woman, who goes to another state (DC) to get married because it was not possible on the state they reside. Later on the movie you see that the issue goes beyond the marriage, the children for being mixed were considered an issue. 

You can also see on the film a distinction on the work done by white men and by black men, black people were mostly the ones working the fields and the white middle class men were on offices, and the lower class were in construction. During the car race you could see how the whites stays in one side and the black on the other side. 

Gender is represented with clear distinction working white women were office assistants, but black women were shown as janitors and if portraits as mothers they were home raising their children and having food ready for the husband. An interesting part is depicted on the fields, black women were working on it, as well.

2. Where this concept encountered as issues, and how were they addressed? Were the problems resolved by the end of the film?

The main issue presented in the film was resolved at the end of it when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage as an inherited right and you could see their faces showing overwhelming happiness for the victory over the marriage issue. It does not make any reference to the issue of the mixed children. It also shows some protest for civil rights happening in Washington DC the news shows not just people of color but also white people during the protest. As you can see, the main issue was resolved but not all the issues presented.

3. How has this cinematic depiction strengthened or weakened your definitions and understanding of these constructs?

It strengthened it, because we all are loved by God equally and He sees us as his inheritance, better yet as a Royal Priesthood. I am glad that someone took the opportunity to speak for the voiceless and to be the face of the faceless. We still have much to grow in regards to respect of other human beings and to seek inside ourselves and relearn how to treat each other in spite of their look, race, gender, class. This movie touched my heart, how easy is to use God said or did to justify my wrongdoings and mistreatment of others. How easy it is to deny facts and blurred it with our emotions and I think preconceptions.

Pictures of the film:

Retrieve from: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4669986/mediaviewer/rm3234336768 

Real couple picture retrieve from: https://progressive.org/dispatches/virginia-lovers-richard-mildred-loving-changed-history./ 

Getting arrested the first time and with their first baby pictures, retrieve from: http://www.4columns.org/als-hilton/loving 

Blog 2 - Verbal, Nonverbal, Becoming Gendered, +

Gendered Verbal Communication

I thought it was fascinating when the author said that language is the main way one expresses gender. It is a way to perform femininity or masculinity. Males learned to communicate in feminine modes and, so it is the same for females. Isn't that amazing! We always think that barriers in communication are a result of different backgrounds or cultures, but not still believe that the difference is part of gender singularities. Of course, when the talk is about the relationship, then the colliding interpretations are relevant, especially the following five, brought about by Wood on chapter 5:

1. Showing support: did you know that in the male mode, support equals condescending, but not for females mode. Advice to male equals comfort; on the other hand, females see it as a feeling dismissal.
2. Troubles talk: how many hadn't been hurt or sad when sharing personal problems with the opposite gender? Did you know that in the female language, when the other person acknowledges that others have gone through it too, it means dismissing and belittle them? And on the male language, it means respect? When is the other way around, in masculine verbal communication style sympathizing, for their problems or troubles means intruding, and being vulnerable pushes the withdrawn button? Better yet, if she sympathized with saying she understands, being there and sharing her story, means to them you are stealing the center of attention to yourself. Did you know it?
3. The point of the story: I think on this one, we are pretty much aware of the differences. As to going to the point vs. detailed, not linear story.
4. Relationship talk: Did you know that "talking about us" for a male communicating standpoint, means we have a problem to solve? For a female, not talking about us means the relationship is in trouble?
5. Public speaking: is base on male communication. You should be assertive, dominant, confident, and being perceived as qualified.

What to do? One step will be to understand, validate, and respect each other's set of rules in communication and interpret them to have better communication. Putting our feelings aside and move to interpretation and growth in our interrelationships. I can only laugh, recalling my experiences on the subject matter, and can't wait to see what happens now that I know these clues or norms in communication.

    Take a stand: Can you identify connections among traditional childhood games, video games, and gendered communication patterns? Absolutely, boys will have as toys, soldiers, police cars, firefighter trucks, heroes, and video games will be sports games such as soccer or baseball. Boys are superheroes; they are strong and tough. Girls, on the other hand, will have as toys a kitchen with their cooking things, a baby doll with its stroller, a barbie, on my experience, girls did not play video games, it seems like there was nothing for them to play on it. For the girls, the tendency was to be caring, kind, and supportive; usually, they were teachers or moms. Their games were around those patterns.

Gendered Nonverbal Communication (chapter 6)

Take a stand section of chapter 6: To what extent do you think specifically gendered action figures make a difference in children's socialization? If nonverbal communication is key, and as children grow, they mimic what they see and hear from their loved ones and the media. I have seen in different cultural settings how a kid will treat others based on who they are portraying as a result of the toy they admired or like, there was a kid that was trying to be a hero, he will destroy so many things and make huge messes from his room all the way to the living room because he was saving his imaginary friend. Girls will be nice to babies when they have a baby doll but will act very emotional and spoiled when they play with barbies or will play with fancy clothes from mommy closet or princess outfits. Both will ask the other gender friends to leave because they were not suitable for the game. Go figure! 

Retrieve from: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/target-ditches-gendered-labels-toys-home-entertainment-n406741

Take a stand: To what extent do you think cosmetic procedures, such as liposuction and Botox injections, are different than wearing makeup or having body piercings or tattoos? The motives seem the same appearance, and the purpose is to enhance/change the appearance. It is all about the look, on my perspective, or what I think others think. The difference could be in the long run results, one could be overturned by just wiping it out, but the other does not. One could be more expensive than the other one. One is looking to cover up while the other is looking for a "permanent" change in the appearance. It is very hard in our society to see ourselves and be happy and proud of what the mirror shows, when for hours, days, and years we have let ourselves being bombarded by the media and place those as the standards in which comparison is unavoidable and our views distorted enough to look for the next thing that will fix us to be happy and feel beautiful, and that is the beginning of one thing to fix after another.

Becoming Gendered (chapter 7)

What a topic! In summary, children learn gender from their family and culture. Our gender identity is formed in the early years, according to Wood's research. Based on Freud's studies, girls identify with their mom and boys with their father if, by any chance, they do not have that figure in their home, they will shape it based on what it is not. How key it is for us to leave in a community close to family where the missing main figures can be "replaced" by their uncle, aunt, grandma, grandpa, pastor, teacher. Then, of course, media plays its role, and toys, too, as we notice in the chapter above. 

Parents, as their children grow, will play different maybe upgrade the roles. For our experiences as children unless on my end, you might wish your dad or mom treated you "equally"... when I was a girl, my dad would not let me play outside when the boys were playing because I could get hurt and because those were boys games - soccer, hide and seek, the warriors, the monsters, among others. Now the fun was when dad was at work… Sweet moments... I got to climb our mango trees and play with everyone there; it was no difference, so much fun to play outside in our backyard. I did grow up with a neighbor boy that acted a lot like a girl. I don't remember paying attention to that; we have a lot of fun playing, and that was what it mattered. I do remember how much they make fun of him, but he did not seem to care, of course, there were a lot of kids that will defend him.

Take a stand section: To what extent do your experiences confirm or challenge these as dominant media images of men today? These are referred to as the two main media characters, the aggressive and at times violent superhero, with high power weapons, who treat women with disrespect or exploits them. The other character is the opposite the slacker, the one that won't do or aspire to anything. In my experience, I have seen and interact with both extremes, and it is very sad and does not feel right at all. I don't think a man has to be aggressive, senseless, and disrespectful to be respected, to be a man, and either the other extreme. A few movies disturbed me when men were presented with a lack of intelligence and aspirations. When I reflect on it, I talk to my husband about how I felt that was not right, and I began to check my thoughts, patterns, and other emotions that I did not notice were a reaction to what I had watched that get fixed in my mind as truth. I did cry, how in the world, I saw God's most precious gift to me as less or incapable! Since I had been intentional of what I say and do is to lift the men on my life and to let them know how much I respect them just for being God's son. Follow this link for a National Geographic article https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/01/gender-toys-departments-piece/ 

Gendered Power and Violence (chapter 12)

It is as the author will sum it up: the many faces of gendered violence. You and I will be puzzled as to the many faces of gendered violence and how much we should be intentional in our minute's life to break the cycle and to make a better place around us and for our generations to come. 

Gender intimidation exists because of gender, sex, or sexual orientation, making someone feeling vulnerable or unsafe. There is also, Genital surgery such as vacation cutting, and gender-based murder, yes how it comes that when both sexes are exposed to regular care both flourished, but female outnumbers boys, and in other places, boys outnumber — something to think about.

Sexual harassment a plague that has been damaging work environments, the second home to almost everyone. Not just limited to Quid pro quo but as harmful as this, the hostile environment when producing and much more is impaired as a result of intimidating, offensive sexualized content or behavior as Wood & Fixmer-Oraiz expressed. Work, school, universities had been harmed by this unacceptable behavior, whether it is conscious or unconscious.

Sexual assault encompassing what we know already by alarming when becoming the highest threat to every student on a college campus. We must change the chip of how to guard ourselves in this day to day realities and how to stop the rape culture and the normalization of something that it is not normal or ok. Rape is not ok or standard in any circumstance, and no one, no one deserves or asks for it.

Intimate partner violence is another facet of the gendered violence that "came to stay" if we keep on believing the myths about it. No one should "got flowers today."

No one should "got flowers today," not a woman, not a man, not a child, no one.

So many ways to stop gendered violence, yet it seems as it just got fuel when the new trends come to light, in the end, the golden rule applies in this context, too. Take a stand and choose to make your voice stronger by acknowledging these realities and think about them, get involved in ways to help on stopping gendered violence, support those that refuse to be defeated by this type of brutality. It is a process. It stars in me and with me.

Reflections on the article "City to ban gendered language like 'manhole', 'manpower' and 'firemen'" in California click link for details. In an effort to promote inclusion replacing words and gender-oriented phrases is a start, (although we should be careful not to fall into a so vague or so neutral way of addressing someone that will give the sense of being ignored/not taking into account) but they should also make efforts to treat the underlying cause and go to the root of this complex societal issue that has over boiled after diversifying genders.

Inclusion on these terms could be like "making the road" to address the more prominent influencers in the lives of humanity and the opportunity to open dialogues and make commitments to treat and respect one another regardless. Because it is not only about gender; it is also impacting and including race, culture, society. It goes beyond the fence of who you think you are or who you think you want to be gendered speaking, because the view of other races and cultures should also be explored as consequence of changes in pro of inclusion.

If you would like to see a few of the common terms replaced see the chart below, retrieve from the same article: